okie dokie. new year resolutions.
1. write at least 500 words daily (be it about anything)
2. walk/ run/combo walk-run (to lose the baby-mama weight & to train for a 9-miler marathon: http://www.bsim.org/
3. frame a picture monthly & display it
4. visit all of these “hidden gems of sf” before 2014 is over: http://www.thebolditalic.com/articles/3421-hidden-gems-of-san-francisco-
Well, well. WP has a word count. Yay! I guess my electronic file of my 500 words can start here.
I’m a mom now. How crazy. Baby is now three months and three weeks old. We’d just celebrated his 100th day mark with a Red Egg and Ginger party at our local Chinese buffet with a wonderful turn out of family and friends. The transformation of the baby and myself has been huge. Let me just say, the first month was hell. The second month was still pretty hellish. Third month started out super hellish. And now that it’s proceeding into the fourth month, do I truly feel like I kinda, sort-of, know what I am doing as a mother for my child. The past week, not so hellish. The only hellish part of it is my father telling me what I need to do and how I should take care of the baby when he’s around. A lot of micromanaging. Eck. All I have to say is that I’m pretty decent when it comes to packing up the baby and going out with him; it almost seems natural now and I don’t get scared like how it was the first two months.
Anyhow. With a new baby in toll, whatever self-building I had done went into remission. Luckily, I’m not starting from scratch this time and I know where to look for resources to rebuild myself- my sanity, really. And luckily, having a baby is for the most part a happy and positive life event, unlike the rest of the life events that occurred in that short period a few years back. Amidst the hectic and craziness of becoming a new mom, I was able to ditch my meds. It wasn’t a smart thing to do considering my history with depression, but I ended up just not taking ’em. But shit, low and behold, it’s already been six weeks now and I’m doing alright. I’m not a complete dumbass about it- I communicate with my psychiatrist and therapist about this sudden discontinuation. It may sound lame but I simply tell them my baby is now my anti-depressant. (It’s a pretty damn powerful thing, if you ask me, though.)
I know I cannot solely rely on “my baby is my anti-depressant” forever and eventually shit is going to hit the fan again. So I’m really hoping that this new year’s resolutions is going to stick and that I will be able to become mentally and physically healthy. Oh, yes- and spiritually healthy too (even though I haven’t explained that part- maybe next time). Truthfully, I have a lot of projects waiting to happen that I have never been able to execute. I’m hoping that these project seeds will be able to sprout this year. Some has been a decade (or more) in the brewing.
New Year was January First; it’s January 28th as I write. Duh. I’m giving myself a second chance. I’m an ABC. Nevertheless, I am Chinese and my family celebrates Chinese New Year. SO. New Year is also this coming Friday. 🙂